pull push and open|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Saturday, May 26th, 2007|
|Tuesday, May 8th, 2007|
nothing ever changes, they are all the same arent they
im sure one of you is different
|Tuesday, April 24th, 2007|
When I get asked "How are you doing?", I want to answer truthfully, but I know that no one wants to hear that. So I say "allright" and move on. Im not allright. My mind is like my stomach after an all night bender at finbar. It goes in and out of feeling weird, complacent, anxious, sad, jelous, happy, confused, wonder, and a variety of other feelings all in the time it takes to write the previous paragraph. I guess its everything that has happend over the past few months, everything in my life changing all at once. I couldnt deal with it. Everything happend too fast for me. So this is for everyone who wants to know exactly how I feel...But not just me. Anyone. If something makes you mad, Post it here. Airing of Grivences. (yes fron festivus!)
1. 4/24/07 9:30am My teacher yelled at me for having laptop open and being on the internet. Yeah I was on the internet. and taking notes, and coding. So fuck you. He wasnt lecturing, so I ventured on to the tubes to check my mail, he sees it and berates me in front of the class. Fuck that, I have never in my time here at empire felt so berated and embarrassed in class. Everyone around me in on the internet on desktops and on laptops, and Im the one who gets singled out? why? is it because Im doing in windows, is it because I have stated previously that I have my own priorities. Im leaving to watch the United game at 11 anyway. But it just makes me angry, and question, why me, I stay ahead of the class with lessons, I make jokes at the approriate time, I ask questions! Why not target the former convict with the anger problem! But the bigger question looms. Why have I been a target all of my life?
I have been picked on, beat up, and treated like shit most of my life, and I never could figure out why. Is it because I am nice to everyone at first, do I come off as a bit weird? (i am fucking proud of that) What is it about people that they have to give the short end of the stick to those who dont fit the mold that the larger group has defined. So this is a big fucking middle finger to everyone who has ever made fun of me for who I am. Beat me up because I was different
|Tuesday, April 10th, 2007|
We won 7-1 and it was just amazing, it wasnt that Roma was that bad, we were just at our absolute best. I have truly never seen anything like it.
I have a feeling that we can win everything this season. I have never seen Man Utd play like this...ever
|Wednesday, March 21st, 2007|
|Friday, February 16th, 2007|
|I can see it from my roof now...
A dystopian civilization in the throws of extinction. A government poisoning its own citizens through the drinking water. Military police raiding private residences. The end of civil liberties. The creation of a Church-State. Mind control.( Jump into the futureCollapse ) Current Mood: excited
|Thursday, November 23rd, 2006|
|I hate the holidays
I do, I really do. From Today until Jan.2nd is the worst time of the year. I hate the heater being on in the house, I hate how when you try to drive somewhere you cant beacause everyone has to fucking buy buy buy buy buy shit they dont fucking need!
I hate the greed
I hate they way my family fakes being nice to each other
I hate the way everyone tries to follow tradition
I hate the rain
I hate the fucking warm-fuzzy feeling everyone tries to cram down my throat
I think there is only 3 things I like about the holidays
1. Having an excuse to drink at 2 pm on a weekday
2. Sharon's birthday
3. Days off from work and school
|Wednesday, November 1st, 2006|
|Computer for sale!
Need a computer? Need an affordable computer? Look no further!!
Customized HP d530
Intel Pentium 4 2.66 GHz
1 GB of DDR RAM
Brand new Seagate 120 GB IDE Hard Drive
Intel Extreme Graphics 64 MB
6 high speed USB 2.0 Ports
HP Recovery CD’s
Windows XP Professional Edition.
Expansion slots - 8x AGP port, 3 PCI Ports, and two SATA slots.
This computer is very fast and geared towards students. It has a ton of room for expansion and upgrading!
Monitor not included.
|Sunday, October 29th, 2006|
so this is what 8 fat tires feels like.... Current Mood: crizzzunk
|Sunday, October 15th, 2006|
I am above it
it took x number of years to come to it, but i am above it
not a number, not a place, but a state of mind and a realization of spacetime around you
"If the universe is a playground, you can think like a monkey and climb up to the slide, or you can think like an piece of spacetime and be at the slide already." - Me
|Monday, October 9th, 2006|
|its been quite a while
its been a while since i last updated.
So I'm going to empire college now. I liek it a lot better than that shithole called the JC. Its fast, and even though I have to sit through only 2 bullshit classes, i like it a lot better. I'm doing IT. all computer stuff and I love it. I know most of the basic material, but I'm actualy learning for once in my life. It feels good to do that. All my life I've been ahead of what I've been taught, and I end up bored and not doing my homework and failed. Here, I am learning and I am engaged to do work. It feels quite nice.
I'm working at small network consulting firm in Rohnert Park called Smart Network Solutions. It's great, I get paid well and I get treated with respect (Unlike at my previous jobs). I truly enjoy it. I get to learn a lot about advanced IT concepts, like SQL, MS server 2003, exchange, and state of the art technologies.
I hope to be moving out of my house soon, I cant fucking stand it anymore. I had to leave the other night, and sleep at Sharon's because my asshat brothers think it's ok to blast the TV and music at 2am when I need to be up at 6am. I really hate the fact that my parents have to deal with it and are afraid to do anything to them.
Sharon and I are doing great, as most of you already know. She will be graduating from SSU with her degree in Spanish in December. I'm really excited and proud of her.
I realized last weekend, that people that I was close to in high school (minus a select few, you know who you are) are fucking douchebags. To those of you who made fun of me, teaesed me, or otherwise hurt me in high school, guess what, high school is over. fucking hell man...I am a diffrent person now. If youre gonna act like a fucking 17 year old, go be one, or better yet, go fuck one, it might make you a grow up a little.
on a realted subject
Matt is now in the Navy...Smart move, Iran only has a coast line the size of California and North Korea in on a pennisula! And with President war-monger in office along with his buddies in PNAC also in office...this will end in tears. I really hope he wises up and goes AWOL. The military is a joke. Militarism is such bs, it's all a show for those with small penis syndrome to feel better about themselves, same goes for those who drive H2's, own guns, start fights, drink shitty beer, and vote republican.
It's people like that block me specifically from reading their journal, because they think that they are special..guess what, couldnt give two shits. If I wanted to read it, I know ways around shit like that, but I dont because I dont care, what they have to say about me, what they think of me, because I DONT CARE. You are not special. The people that dont want me reading their private journals because it is private information. I respect that, but blocking me becuase you think youre better than me...and that by blocking me you feel better about yourself...get it into your head..I dont care
uhh thats it. at the drive is awesome
|Monday, September 4th, 2006|
You will always live in our hearts! Crikey mate!
|Thursday, August 31st, 2006|
|people of the world...rise up
The war that is now raging in the nation of Iraq, a war that has claimed between 30,000-and 100,000 innocent Iraqi lives, and over 2,000 U.S. servicemen and women, that has not been justified by either weapons of mass destruction, terrorist ties, or efforts to �establish democracy,� that has bred such atrocities as the London and Madrid bombings, that has galvanized the entire world against the imperialist United States government, must come to an end. Not in six months. Not in one year. But now! The actions currently being undertaken by your government are criminal on an international level. The use of napalm in Fallujah, the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay, and the violation of our cherished Constitutional rights here at home are all products of an aggressive, militaristic, power-hungry regime that will not be stopped until the people who have so far remained silent, obedient, or even patriotic, stand up and resist. The criminal acts of the Bush regime have only been allowed to exist through a systematic propaganda campaign exercised by all major media outlets, liberal and conservative. Furthermore, the silence and passivity of the Democratic party, who voted to give war powers to the current regime, has contributed to the destruction of the sovereign nation of Iraq, and they are thus equally responsible for each and every death that has resulted from this illegal war. We, the people, as democratic citizens, as proponents of human dignity, as upholders of the natural rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, raise our voices over the lies and say No to imperialism, and yes to freedom. Yes to justice. Yes to democracy. Democracy, the rule of the people. Not the rule of corporations. Not the rule of the rich. Not the rule of the white male. But the rule of you and me. The rule of the dispossessed. The poor. The oppressed. The overwhelming majority of Iraqis have vocally called for the immediate removal of U.S. troops from their country. The fact that our government refuses to do so can then only be viewed as a direct and blatant violation of the intrinsic liberties that all Iraqi�s possess. This violation cannot go unpunished. We, the people, the lovers of equality and solidarity, the advocates of a free and peaceful society, demand the end to this war through the direct action of the people. However, most importantly, we recognize a need for a change of tactics. The time for silent vigils and sign-holding, for writing letters to representatives, for holding hands and candles and staging symbolic protests is over. The only thing that will stop this war is direct, militant, disciplined action. Whether you are a proponent of violence or non-violence matters not. If we are serious about fighting against this war, we must all make sacrifices. We must break the law if it is necessary. We must be willing go to jail. We must prepare ourselves for the types of brutality that all heroes for peace endured (King, Gandhi, Malcolm, the students of Kent State, etc.) We must move ourselves off the sidelines and into the streets. We must move our bodies out of darkness and into the spotlight. We must raise the volume of our voices above the repetitive chants of yesterday so that they may hear us in the offices of the warmakers. We must frighten those in power who profit from our apathy and conformity. We must lay waste to the society that discourages the democratic action of the people. We must step outside our comfort zone so that those who have never felt comfort can sleep one night in peace. We must fight for each other, for our lives and others, our brothers and sisters all around the world. Not until we cross that line, not until we dedicate ourselves to a noble life of democratic revolution, will peace ever be won. There are millions around the world ready to take that step. Will you be with us?
take this and start spreading the word. print it out, forward it to friends and family, post it up around your school. we're building a movement and we need all of your help and dedication.
|Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006|
|math a.k.a big oil can suck it
b= price of a barrel(42 gallons) of light sweet crude oil (fluxuates on a daily basis)
p= percentage of that barrel that can become gasoline (51.4%)
r= true cost of refinemnt and shipping (fluxuates on a daily basis)
x = price of gas before profit
(B/P)+R = X
I think I will call it the "oil companies can suck my dick" equation Current Mood: blah
|Sunday, August 13th, 2006|
|as much as it pains me to do this....
So tonight is a last meal for me of sorts....
Some of you who have known me since high school, have noticed I've gained a little weight (almost 40lbs) since then. I was up to 230lbs at one point and back to 210 at one point too, but I weighed myself recently, and well I didnt like what it said, 223. I want to be 200lbs or less, by Jan.1 2007. I am not doing this to be attractive,( I dont need that, Sharon loves my body now!) I am not doing this to look good in a swimsuit, or even to build muscle. I am doing this for my own health. My grandfather on my fathers side, died at the age of 53 from stomach cancer, my grandfather on my mothers side had triple-bypass surgery a few years ago(he is doing fine now). My father had melonoma, my mother is jsut getting over her battle with breast cancer. The point is that, these terrible things run in my family and I want to live a long and healthy life. I dont want to die from a heart-attack, I want to die at age 110 from something cool...like being trampled by elephants or eaten by some unlnown sea-creature. (kidding)
I will be making several sacrifices, in terms of things that I will not or restrict myself from eating. Easy one is NO fried foods, just shitty foods like that. I will be eating mostly vegtables and grilled or roasted meat and fish. (*I dont eat fish unless I catch it myself, I am going Salmon fishing soon, and I will be havinga bbq with it!) Some fruit, like those high in fiber, blueberries, strawberries, etc. I will be having all my sandwiches dry. Mayo is disgusting when you think about it. Most of my diet will be extremly logical. Sugars and fatty things are the ones to avoid. I can have them for a treat once in a while, but not the point I have them now.
I am doing this the old fashioned way, by diet and exercise. I am going to ride my boke several miles per day, run some of those, increase my sit-ups, psuh-ups, stuff like that. Soccer will play a major role in this. I am going to participate in davids soccer training, which is HELL, but should be good for me. I dont think I will join a gym, seems like a waste of money to hang out with sweaty meat-heads when I can run and lift weights in my garage!
Anyway, I thought Id let everyone know....so yeah! If you see me doing something that is detrimental to this...STOP ME!
btw - BEER will stay in my diet, it is healty for you in short spurts. espcially the organic ones that I drink. I will only ahve 2-3 on the weekends anyway. I would encourage you to drink it. Stuff like Fat Tire and Stella Artois. Amber Ales, and Lagers are naturally low calorie, and Guinness is only 210 calories per pint!!!! Orange Juice is 220!!! Current Mood: hopeful
|Monday, July 31st, 2006|
So I have been fired again. I guess I just dont do well with authority. And thats a good thing. I have always belived in questioning authority, because it is the nature of freedom. I truly belive that.
My tenure at Masterpiece coffe company has come to a close. My boss Matt, was the greediest, most self-centered boss I have ever had. A true capitalist. Almost Trump-esque in his mannerisms. When I accepted employment at this company, it was for a deliverly driver. I was going to be delivering coffee to places as far away as Kelseyville in Lake County, and that was to be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the rest of the week, was spent doing packaging for the deliveries and mail-order. When I first started there, there was another guy working at the time. James, was a 37-year old college graduate, who you could tell was having some bad-luck in his life. But he was a very nice guy who helped me out a lot my first week. I could say that my training was disapointing to say the least. I was really just thrust into the whole business. Although I did'nt enjoy going to the grocery stores I tried my best at it. At the grocery stores I would re-fill the big coffee bins and if they needed it, 12oz bags. Everything was going well for a few weeks. I came to work one day to find that James had been fired and a new employee had started - Kyle. Kyle seemed very nice and we became quick friends. Matt had noticed me screwing up things at work, like grinding coffee to the wrong levels or mislabing stuff, minor things that can be corrected very easily.
It was when he started exploding that I got scared. Large 20-gallon containers would be hurled across the wherehouse, while portable phones would be thrown at high-speed at the bay door. I tried to stay out of it as much as possible. I guess sub-consciously I wanted to rebel. I would skip selling to stores that really didnt need it and I know that they would be fine for the next week. My hours were eventually reduced when we got a new person to do the lake county route. I took this in stride. Felcia was nuts. She was let go very fast. I hated going to lake county. When Felcia was fired I picked up the wednesday route and took monday and fridays off. Matt said he didnt trust me with packaging anymore.
Long story short- I fucked up on a delivery and we ended up loosing two accounts and I was fired today...almost 2 weeks after the fact and I hadnt worked in almost a week. If you see masterpiece coffee company products -(sold at Olivers, Petaluma Market, Whole Foods, and a varierty of other health food and other small markets.) DONT BUY FROM THEM.
I will be attending Empire College starting in September. In two years time I will have my degree in Information Technology and can tell these kind of jobs/bosses to shove it.
I'm going to write a book. A revolutionary book. about direct action, about turning away from what you have been told to belive, about doing whats right for humanity.
I will finish it in 2 years. Current Mood: apathetic
|Monday, July 24th, 2006|
|Wednesday, June 14th, 2006|
|a little update
I am currently saving up a little bit of money and buying a 2007 Toyota Prius. I will then proceed to mod the fuck out of it. I am going to put more bateries in it, to get 100+ mpg. I will then get a license plate that says"100MPG". It will have two stickers. One will bea NIN sticker of course. and the other will say this "Your hummer missed that last gas station, I get 100 MPG"
|Monday, May 15th, 2006|
if my boss so much as looks at me funny today
im walking off
|Tuesday, April 18th, 2006|